A woman has started a debate over on Reddit for calling out her husband after he went to the gym instead of helping her with their baby.
In a Reddit thread titled: "AITA for saying my husband shouldn't go to the gym when he does?", the woman pointed out that her partner had chosen "inopportune times" to go to the gym ever since they'd had a baby, including the day after she'd given birth.
The post read: "Here's a little background... My husband and I had our first baby (SUPER planned and thoroughly talked about) about 11 months ago.
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"Since he has been born my husband has been going to the gym at the most inopportune times.
"He went to the gym the day after we got home from the hospital!"
And we can understand her frustration.
She added: "For the past couple months, he has been going around 7pm.
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"I pick up our son DAILY and make it home around 5. I then make a full dinner about 80% of the time (6pm), clean up all dishes(6:45ish), and then do our son's bedtime routine (7-8:30pm).
"Then I clean up some more and take our dog out. I'm usually in the shower by 9:30, which is also about when my husband returns home."
"So here's the problem," she wrote. "I feel extremely overwhelmed and abandoned because of his absence during this time."
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She then went on to add that her husband doesn't even eat her cooked meal, as he can't eat before working out, while she feels like she is doing everything by herself.
Having expressed her feelings to her husband many times, the woman adds that she has told him to go to the gym when it isn't their family time.
"I have expressed these feelings to him MANY times and it always ends in how I am over-dramatic and that he would help more if I 'let him'," she added.
Many Reddit users came out in support of the mum.
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"NTA," wrote one. "Physical activity is important but your husband needs to step up and be a better husband to you and a better dad to your son. He can go to the gym at different hours. He can't ditch all of his responsibilities."
Another posted: "He's going to the gym specifically to avoid all of the "shared" responsibilities that take place in that time. Period. NTA."
"He is ditching his family," said a third. "They are home (and awake) from 5pm to 9:30pm. He can't be home and present for 4 and a half hours a day? I bet he would freak out if he had to stay home with his son for an hour every day so OP can go to the gym instead. I'm sure that would totally 'unfair.'"
Another called it a "jerk move to have someone cook for you everyday and not even eat it", while a fifth user said the words he was using were similar to those used by gaslighters.
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"NTA- and those are typical gaslighting phrases," they wrote. "Being "over-dramatic" is typically used against women because it is something women fear. We don't want to come across as not being reasonable or nagging. The saying you won't 'let him' help is right up there with saying that they never do it the right way or the way you like it done. He doesn't owe you help. He owes being a good parent and partner. He has to be better."
While others were quick to point out that he too had had a child and so should step up his responsibilities.
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