11 Mistakes Everyone Makes In Their First Long-Term Relationship
When you experience anything for the first time, you are going to learn a lot of new information and make a fair few mistakes. And no where is that more evident than with your first long-term relationship.
1. Sticking your friends on the back-burner. - When you enter into a new relationship, you'll probably want to spend every second of every day with your partner. But putting all of your eggs in one basket is dangerous. Friendship is a two-way street and even though your girls have been there for you from the very beginning, there's no guarantee they'll hang around if you don't make the effort.
2. Trying to control every situation. - It's natural to want the relationship to be perfect because it's shiny and new. But that's a problem when you become controlling and overly-analytical. You don't need to take charge of every situation. Go with the flow and cruise on autopilot for a while. You'll probably find that you enjoy everything a lot more.
3. Sacrificing your ambitions. - Your new partner might feel like the most important person in the world, but you still need to take care of yourself. Do not forget your passions and your goals because they are the very essence of you. If you build yourself entirely in their image, you are essentially admitting that your aspirations do not matter.
4. Using the 'L' word too quickly. - Even if they say it first, you need to mean it because you only get one first chance. Once you have used that word, it's out there and you can hardly backtrack, unless you don't mind destroying their feelings.
5. Comparing relationships. - You don't have to be a genius to understand that every relationship is different. What works for one couple will not necessarily work for another. By embracing what makes you and your partner different, you only serve to strengthen your bond. The more you focus on others, the less time you spend on your own relationship and we all know how that story ends.
6. Sprinting through your milestones like Usain Bolt. - It's easy to get carried away when you meet someone new. You start having conversations about travelling the world together and before you know it, he's proposing. But what you shouldn't do is move at lightning speed without considering the consequences. You need to make sure that it's what you both want, and it's not just the honeymoon period weaving its magic spell. And in all honesty, what's the rush?
7. Thinking that it's all about you. - There are two sides to every relationship, but that's a lesson which can take time to pick up if you've been out of the game for a while. It doesn't matter what you want 100% of the time because a little compromise every now and again is one of the best qualities that you can both bring to the table.
8. Avoiding serious conversations. - Sitting down to talk about your boyfriend's extensive ex-girlfriend catalogue or the fact that your parents actively dislike your new partner is never going to be a barrel of laughs. And at first, it is definitely a lot easier to pretend that there's nothing to discuss. But this isn't just a summer romance. This is a mature, fully-fledged relationship and you owe it one another to be open and honest.
9. Threatening to end the relationship over every argument. - Confrontation is part of the makeup of relationships. From bickering to full-blown door slamming extravaganzas, they will happen because you are two different people and you are not always going to see eye to eye. And that's okay. The majority of disagreements are not cause for concern. It's been actively proven by relationship experts that arguments help couples to grow.
10. You can't admit when you're wrong. - This will be the death of your relationship. You know you're wrong. They know you're wrong. Do the right thing.
11. Persisting with the relationship even when it doesn't feel right. - Admitting to yourself that it just isn't working is especially painful when it's your first long-term relationship. But that doesn't stop people from being in denial. It might be difficult, but it will be one of the best decisions that you ever make, for you and for them.
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