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Rob Delaney Pens Powerful Essay For Parents With Sick Children Following Son's Heartbreaking Death

Rachel Andrews

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Rob Delaney Pens Powerful Essay For Parents With Sick Children Following Son's Heartbreaking Death

Featured Image Credit: Twitter/Rob Delaney

Catastrophe actor Rob Delaney has shared an emotional essay for parents with extremely poorly children, after their young son passed away earlier this year.

Rob and his wife Leah lost two-and-a-half-year-old Henry to a brain tumour in January 2018. The family received the devastating diagnosis in 2016, shortly after their son's first birthday.

The "smart, funny, and mischievous" boy had surgery to remove the tumour and further treatment into early 2017, but the cancer returned in the autumn, with Henry passing away just a couple of months later.

Writing on a blog, Rob explained he had started penning the post as a book to reassure fellow parents of 'very sick children' that someone understood and cared about them.

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"They were always so tired and sad, like ghosts, walking the halls of the hospitals, and I wanted them to know someone understood and cared," explained Rob. "I'd still like them to know that, so here these few pages are, for them. Or for you.

"But I can't write that book anymore because our family's story has a different ending than I'd hoped for. Maybe I'll write a different book in the future, but now my responsibility is to my family and myself as we grieve our beautiful Henry."

Rob's essay begins on a bus ride to visit his poorly son, venting his anger that he can't take his little boy on the red double decker.

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Instead, he must take Henry in a taxi to another hospital 'because I don't want to have to jostle with other curious passengers when I have to turn on his suction machine to suck out the saliva and mucus that collects in his tracheotomy tube'.

The actor explained how tired he felt, adding: "The front of my head feels like it's stuffed with hot trash. My chest and throat feel constricted and I'm reminded that while my life is and will remain stressful for the foreseeable future."

Credit: PA Images
Credit: PA Images

Catastrophe star Rob went on to explain that while he felt sick that the family hadn't all lived under the same roof for over a year, he was 'always, always happy' to see little Henry's face light up as his dad walked into the room.

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His son was left with Bell's Palsy following the surgery to remove the tumour, with Rob saying: "A regular baby's smile is wonderful enough. When a sick baby with partial facial paralysis smiles, it's golden. Especially if it's my baby."

Henry first showed signs of being poorly at his oldest brother's fifth birthday party, after he vomited during the party.

"No big deal; he was our third kid and we'd cleaned up enough gallons of puke not to be fazed," explained Rob.

But when Henry was sick a couple more times the next day, Leah called a nurse who told them to take him to A&E as she was concerned he could become dehydrated.

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Doctors first suspected a UTI, and Rob and Henry left the hospital with some antibiotics.

Henry continued to be sick, although it plateaued at one point and the family were able to go on holiday to Massachusetts to visit Rob's mum.

But while they were on holiday, the little one become sick again, and doctors checked his kidneys.

The actor explained: "We returned to London and started to get scared. Henry was losing weight. Every time he vomited I would freak out.

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"I would feed him so gently, so slowly, and assume I'd done something wrong when he vomited. Why, if I'd been able to feed Henry's ravenous, feral older brothers, couldn't I feed him?"

He added: "His vomit became the most precious substance in the world to me and I would often start crying whenever he threw up.

"I would try not to cry in front of his older brothers and fail and they'd ask why, and I would say it was because I was scared."

Despite being prescribed drugs to stop him vomiting, Henry continued to be sick.

"By this point we knew we were going to get some kind of bad news, we just prayed it would be celiac disease or a twist in his gut that could be surgically fixed or something," penned the dad-of-three.

After a recommendation from a friend, Rob took their son to a family pediatrician on his own, as Henry 'became my little project',

Rob then recalled the conversation between himself and the doctor, who asked questions whether the vomiting was 'effortless'. When the doctor recommended an MRI, the actor questioned why:

"'Just to make sure there's nothing in there that shouldn't be. Pressing on his emetic center, making him vomit'

'What, like a tumor?'

He paused.

'I'm glad you said it'."

Credit: PA Images
Credit: PA Images

Rob wrote that the type of tumour, medically known as an ependymoma, kills most babies who get one. The family didn't dare assume Henry would have a second birthday but he did.

"[Ependymomas] still kill people today but if they can remove the entire thing surgically your chances improve somewhat. Henry's was on his posterior fossa, wrapped snugly around several important cranial nerves.

"To get them out, his surgeon, Dr. Mallick had to damage these cranial nerves. Thus, the Bell's palsy and the lazy left eye. The cranial nerve that serves the left ear was severed, so he's deaf in that ear now. All those things are awful, but they're really nothing compared to the tracheotomy."

The tracheotomy stopped Henry from speaking, meaning he hadn't made a peep for over a year.

"My wife recently walked in on me crying and listening to recordings of him babbling, from before his diagnosis and surgery," added Rob.

The essay ends 'abruptly', with Rob explaining his intentions of releasing a book once his son had got better.

Leah and Rob are expecting their fourth baby together, and they have always praised the NHS for helping and supporting Henry and their family throughout the diagnosis.

For help and support on child bereavement, you can visit here.

Topics: Celebrity News

Rachel Andrews
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