Mum Reveals Heartbreak Of Carrying Triplets To Full Term Knowing One Had Died In Her Womb
Kirsty Alexander, 33, and her husband John, 39, who welcomed their firstborn daughter, Bonnie, in July 2017, were delighted to find out Kirsty was pregnant again just one year later in July 2018.
However, Kirsty, from Kent, felt different this time around and noticed bleeding around four weeks in. Fearing it was a miscarriage, Kirsty and John booked in an early ultrasound at seven weeks, only to discover there were three heartbeats.
"I immediately laughed and cried simultaneously, and my hands were shaking," Kirsty explained about finding out she was expecting triplets. "The nurse in the room had to get me some water because I became so faint.
"I loved each of the babies from the minute we found out we were expecting triplets. I'd imagined what they looked like, what their personalities might be like and most of all I'd imagined holding them all safely in my arms."
Unfortunately, at 18 weeks, a scan revealed that one of the babies wasn't developing properly, causing it to pass away not long after.
In an early ultrasound, the couple had joked that their triplets looked like little dots. After finding out they had lost of of them, they looked over the early ultrasounds again and were amazed by how much the babies had grown. They then decided to name their baby that had passed away Dotty.
Kirsty explained: "At the scan they mentioned some concerns around the development of Dotty and the fluid around her brain. They said we'd need to see a consultant to look in more detail.
"We had a follow up scan at the hospital, and it was at that point that we knew we'd lost her. We were completely devastated and heartbroken."
Carrying the three babies full term, Dotty, Delilah and Wilfred were born via caesarean on 6th March 2019.
After the birth, Kirsty became desperately worried that something would happen to her other two babies in the throes of her grief.
"The first few weeks were awful I felt like I couldn't leave the house because my anxiety spiralled and I was so terrified of something else happening to one of our survivors," said Kirsty.
"I was advised to start trying to share my feelings and emotions, but I just didn't feel strong enough to speak face to face about what happened. That's when I started using Instagram to share how I was feeling. It helped so much to let go of some of the fear, upset and anger that I had bottled up.
Finding that besides her husband, family and friends, there was little bereavement support, Kirsty then turned to Instagram to connect with other women who had been through similar experiences.
"Instagram almost allowed me to have a comfort blanket for my emotions and it protected me from the face to face interactions whilst still allowing me to share my feelings," she explained.
"It gave me platform to grieve and I spoke with so many wonderful, supportive and caring people. It also put me in contact with people who experienced loss themselves and they offered me words of comfort that really helped when I was at my lowest.
View this post on InstagramMy little world right there:heart: It's not felt like the greatest weekend ever....Poor John is still in a lot of pain from his broken ribs and I seem to have developed a nasty chest infection out of nowhere! The continuous coughing has really made my infected section scar even more sore and my stomach muscles feel like I've done a lot of sit-ups (I definitely haven't :see_no_evil:), but tomorrow is another day and we're all hoping to feel a bit brighter in the morning! What has been lovely is how wonderful Bonnie has been with her little brother and sister! She's so affectionate to them both, kissing and cuddling them and stroking their heads whenever she sees them! She's such a kind little soul and we are so very lucky to have such wonderful babies :heart:and I'm so lucky to also have a brilliant husband . . #weekendfun #ourbabies #myworld #husband #mychildren #3under2 #toddlersofinstagram #newbornsofinstagram #siblings #brotherandsisters #triplets #survivingtriplets #multiplebabies #multiplemum
A post shared by Bonnie and the Peas Mummy (@bonnie_and_the_peas_mummy) on
"Since having the triplets and going through that grief but also feeling such joy for our surviving babies, it's truly put into perspective how precious life is. I appreciate every second I get with my babies; I hold them even tighter and love them even more unconditionally than I even thought possible since losing Dotty.
"The strength of any parent who has experienced loss is phenomenal, but so many of them suffer in silence and don't get the support they need and deserve. Talking really does help lift the weight of grief, but parents need support to feel like they can open up to get through what is the most heart-breaking experience."
If you need more support and advice on baby loss, miscarriage or stillbirth, visit Tommy's here.
Featured Image Credit: Media Drum World