Wedding Planners Reveal Three Signs A Marriage Won't Last
According to the Office for National Statistics, 42 per cent of marriages now end in divorce.
It could be worse but it could be better, and according to wedding planners Christy Matthews and Cassandra Santor, there are three signs which indicate whether a marriage is built to last.
Speaking to attn, they broke down their observations:
Santor says you should all be on the same team:
A lot of times mothers of the bride [or groom] have very particular points of view, and the couple should really be in it together. If it's 'well my mum said this' and 'your mum said that,' and the family of origin's opinion [is taken more seriously] than the future spouse, that can be really challenging.
It does bode nicely when you're on the same team. Who is paying for the wedding, how are they paying for the wedding, this can really show signs of what the marriage might be like and again, I think if you're on the same team from the get-go or always establish that you're on the same team, I feel like that's a huge piece of it.
Matthews says don't rush into marriage when you're young:
The times I worry about my clients is when, in short, the wedding has become bigger than this impending marriage, and I worry more when they're younger because it's going to come as even more of a surprise [that] this whole adult gig, it's tough.
I have worked with couples from like 21 years - or even 20 years old in one case - to couples in their fifties. And I do worry, or the thought occurs to me more, when a couple is really super young and just sort of inexperienced in worldly ways. I personally think like, 'This is not the best recipe for a lifelong commitment here.' But I would probably feel that way even if I wasn't a wedding planner.
Matthews says that the wedding itself should not be the most important part of the commitment:
[When] it becomes an all-encompassing monster, that's when I worry or the thought occurs to me like, 'We're forgetting what the point of this is'. The point that marriage is the ultimate goal here. When that's lost and it becomes more about the wedding, or [there's this idea that the wedding] is the end of the journey, [it's concerning].
If you were going to do anything else in life, go get your car fixed or build a house or put a pool in your backyard, you would hire professionals to do it, and once you hire them, you would let go a little bit. But that's not what happens with weddings because they're so emotionally heavy. And you've been told your whole life what a big deal it is, and it is a big deal. But it's only the beginning of a bigger deal ... it's not the end.
But Santor adds that "the impetus of the day is equal to the commitment you're making, so I kind of see it as more of a beautiful thing that if you're committing so much time and thought and energy into your day, it's because [of] how important it is to you."
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