Life is just one long, internal battle between being in shape and going to Greggs three times a day, isn't it? That's basically the entire human condition, really.
Of course, being slim is great, but have you tried a steak bake?
For years now, we've struggled with these two diametrically opposing desires: skinny or sausage roll? Until today, that is - Greggs fans, I have some very good news for you.
Just in time for summer, Greggs has launched its 'Minimise Me' diet plan. I shit you not. Check it out:
Now, if you're reading this and thinking 'f*ck off, you can't eat Greggs three times a day for 30 days and lose weight,' then hear me out, because I am about to tell you that you can eat Greggs three times a day for 30 days and lose weight.
In fact, a number of people already have. Four lucky 'dieters' lived off nothing but Greggs for a month, and between them lost over two stone and 14 inches from their waists. Is this the best day ever? I feel like it might be.
As well as the usual diet suspects - porridge and fruit - the plan also includes sausage rolls, pizza and egg barms.
The diet was created by independent dietitian Laura Clark - who deserves a mention in the Queen's honours list this year - and aims to encourage people to make informed, healthier choices.
Alongside the plan, she issued five tips to help keep dieters on track. Laura reckons keeping track of what you're eating - via an app or just writing it down, not being afraid of 'eating on the go', eating breakfast every day, making sure you're getting enough protein and including regular exercise are all easy ways to make sure you achieve your weight-loss goals.
Featured Image Credit: PA