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This £9.99 'Grow A D*ck' Plant Will Not Disappoint

While plants are all the rage right now, a lot of us struggle to keep them alive, leading to a lot of disappointment further down the line.

It's just hard to remember them and to feel motivated to take care of them when there's so much more to do, like Netflix and wine.

Credit: Firebox
Credit: Firebox

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Well, Firebox have stepped up to make it a little bit easier to feel motivated, at least.

The online retailer's "Grow a D*ck" plant is a chilli plant which is fairly phallic in its shape. Not a great-looking one, maybe, but one all the same.

The chillies come in a cute little box and for just £9.99 you can pre-order it as a gift or for yourself or a close friend. It's probably not appropriate for everyone in your life, but maybe someone will appreciate the little red "willy chillies".

Credit: Firebox
Credit: Firebox

The box contains "all you need to grow dick shaped chillies" and is 100 per cent organic, "from the soil to the penis produce itself".

All you need to do is add water and keep an eye on your little chillies to make sure they grow.

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It's not subtle either as the product description says that the plant "literally looks like a bunch of red d*cks".

Credit: Firebox
Credit: Firebox

The description reads: "No, it's not an STD, it's the organic produce from our super easy Grow A Dick Kit! This sassy little cube has a big surprise inside: spoiler alert, it's everything you need to grow a girthy batch of capsicum annuum - AKA phallic chillies!

"This is no bird-of-paradise-flower-situation, these spicy red numbers are unmistakably penile from head to shaft. Except for the little green bit on the stem, obvs.

"If you actually have one of those on your knob, please see a doctor, you may be at risk of being diagnosed as a plant."

Credit: Firebox
Credit: Firebox

The product already has three reviews, and they're all five stars, with customers raving: "Already growing up! Cant wait to see it when its all grown."

We're sold! You can pre-order yours here.

Featured Image Credit: Firebox

Topics: Tasty, Home, Style News, Novelty, Food And Drink

Marianne Eloise

Marianne writes about TV, film and internet culture for Nylon, VICE, The Guardian, Vulture, Time Out and more. She was previously a staff writer at Dazed.

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