Woman Pens Open Letter On Constant Social Media Reminders After Losing Her Baby
A woman has shared a tear-jerking post on the heartbreak caused by constant social media reminders after losing her baby at 30-weeks pregnant.
In a moving open letter to all social media platforms, the woman recalled how adverts based on her search history while she was still pregnant only added to her pain after she lost her baby.
The woman says the social media platforms knew she was pregnant based on what she had searched for online, as she was quickly served with adverts for maternity wear and baby products.
But even when she began searching to find out more about stillbirth and heartbreak after she lost her baby, she continued to be inundated with pregnancy-related ads.
An open letter to @Facebook, @Twitter, @Instagram and @Experian regarding algorithms and my son's birth: pic.twitter.com/o8SuLMuLNv
- Gillian Brockell (@gbrockell) December 11, 2018
"Dear Tech Companies, I know you knew I was pregnant. It's my fault, I just couldn't resist those Instagram hashtags - #30weekspregnant #babybump," she began.
"And, stupid me! I even clicked once or twice on the maternity-wear ads Facebook served up.
"You surely saw my heartfelt thank-you post to all the girl friends who came to my baby shower, and the sister-in-law who flew in from Arizona for said shower tagging me in her photos.
"You probably even saw me googling "holiday dress maternity plaid" and "babysafe crib paint". And I bet Amazon even told you my due date, January 24th, when I created an Amazon registry."
The woman went on to add she felt that the tech companies didn't acknowledge a change in her search patterns or her social media silence as tragedy hit.
"But didn't you also see me googling "is this braxton hicks?" and "baby not moving"? Did you not see the three days of silence, uncommon for a high-frequency user like me?" she questioned.
"And then the announcement with key words like "heartbroken" and "problem" and "stillborn" and the two-hundred teardrop emoticons from my friends? Is that not something you could track?"
The woman went on to add that there are 26,000 stillbirths in the US every year, and many, many more worldwide who will all be social media users.
She continued: "Let me tell you what social media is like when you finally come home from the hospital with the emptiest arms in the world, after you have spent days sobbing in bed, and pick up your phone for a couple of minutes distraction before the next wail.
"It's exactly, crushingly the same as it was when your baby was still alive. Pea in the Pod. Motherhood Maternity. Latched Mama. Every goddam Etsy tchotchke I was planning for the nursery.
"And when we millions of brokenhearted people helpfully click "I don't want to see this ad," and even answer your "why?" with the cruel-but-true "It's not relevant to me," do you know what your algorithm decides, Tech Companies?
"It decides you've given brith, assumes a happy result, and deluges you with ads for the best nursing bras (I have cabbage leaves on my breasts because that is the best medical science has to offer to turn your milk off), tricks to get the baby to sleep through the night (I would give anything to him cry at all) and the best strollers to grow with my baby (mine will forever be 4 pounds, 1 ounce)."
And after all that, the woman said Experian swooped in with "the lowest tracking blow of them all".
"A spam email encouraging me to "finish registering your baby" (I never started but sure) to track his credit throughout the life he will never lead."
She finished her open letter, by urging: "Please, Tech Companies, I implore you: If you're smart enough to realize that I'm pregnant, that's I've given birth, then you're surely smart enough to realize that my baby died, and can advertise to me accordingly, or maybe just maybe not at all."
Her post has been retweeted thousands of times on social media since it was shared on Tuesday.
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