An Australian TV presenter has revealed the moment she found out she was the 'other woman' when the man she was dating's ex sent her a message on Instagram.
Sami Lukis, a newsreader from Sydney, explained that she'd been dating a man for three months when a message appeared on her phone from a woman she didn't know.
"It wasn't a 'back off, you sl*t' warning. I saw it as more of a, 'just trying to help a sister out and let you know that the guy you're dating is a massive douchebag' alert," she shared in a blogpost on Whimn.
The woman went on to tell her that she'd been dating the same guy as her for nine months, but he'd never quite committed to "full blown relationship status".
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Before long, the woman noticed things beginning to change in their relationship. This was around the time he also began seeing Sami, unbeknownst to both women.
"Things had been going swimmingly, until he started acting flaky a few months back," Sami explains. "And then he suddenly dumped her and told her he'd been seeing someone else and wanted to pursue a relationship with her (ie. me) instead."
She goes on: "Back in the good old days of dating (so, pre-2016?) we might have described that naughty three month overlap as cheating. But in a dating scene that now consists of ghosting and catfishing and orbiting and haunting, this was a textbook case of 21st century 'Cookie Jarring'. In all it's fully baked glory.
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"The other woman, meanwhile, had been feeling nothing but doubt. After investing her time, energy and emotions in the relationship, she still couldn't work out where things were headed. It's classic cookie behaviour."
The term 'cookie jarring' in dating refers to treating someone as a back-up option while you're dating other people. When 'cookie jarring', you might not be serious about your current date, yet you continue to go back to them when there isn't any 'better' option.
Sami explains that while in this case she found herself to be the 'other woman', she's been cookie jarred herself in the past.
"I've been that confused woman, more than once," she says. "Holding out for the guy who won't quite commit. Frustrated by his hot and cold behaviour. Stupidly forgiving him for cancelling our plans (again!). Always questioning the relationship status. Being a cookie is emotionally exhausting."
Sami adds that while dating multiple people at once can be a good way to look for love if done responsibly, the rules of multi-dating are still ambiguous.
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She says: "In the wrong hands, it can be hurtful, selfish and disrespectful. It's also a convenient option for emotionally unavailable singles who aren't really looking for commitment. A friend went on a first date with a guy who casually told her he was dating 12 other women. Yep. TWELVE. He's even developed a spreadsheet to keep track of them all. I mean, WHO HAS THE TIME!?"
The newsreader closed her blog by saying: "So here's a thought. Why don't we all agree to eliminate cookie jarring from the dating scene completely and commit to dating with honesty and decency instead? That'd be lovely. Thanks."
She finished: "Oh, and in case you're wondering how my recent cookie-jarring situation turned out. I found out she was telling the truth so I dumped the cookie monster immediately. I'm looking for a real man. Not just another greedy muppet with blue balls."
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Good for you, Sami!
Featured Image Credit: Instagram/SamiLukisTopics: Life News, Dating, Love, Life