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Reddit Users Are Sharing The Weirdest Things They've Heard People Saying In Their Sleep

Amelia Jones

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Reddit Users Are Sharing The Weirdest Things They've Heard People Saying In Their Sleep

Sleep talking - known in scientific circles as somniloquy - is an odd phenomenon. If you don't do it yourself you probably know someone who does and are aware how people's sleepy ramblings can be hilarious, terrifying and completely unlike something their conscious self would say.

Always the font of knowledge for weird and wonderful information about other people's lives, Reddit recently posed the question: "What is the best thing you have heard someone "Sleep Talk"?" And its users came through with answers ranging from random rants to creepy utterances. Here are 15 of our favourite stories from Redditors who've heard or said some pretty odd things after dark:

1. Dad: "Hey you need to wake up for basketball practice." Me: "Wait, I can't find my eyebrows!"

2. My male flatmate who was asleep on the couch.

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"Why is it sticky?"

I don't know dude. I really don't know.

3. The kid I used to babysit sleep talked all the time. Te [sic] most memorable time was probably when she rolled over during her nap and yelled, "Don't make me eat the chicken nuggets please! Don't make me! Give them to the penguins because they can't read newspapers." Weirdest sentence ever.

Credit: Instagram/belleandbeau15
Credit: Instagram/belleandbeau15
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4. At a sleepover my friend who was asleep on the floor next to me suddenly sat bolt upright, turned to me and said 'there's [sic] a ghost in the corner and he's looking at you'. I Didn't [sic] sleep a lot that night.

5. Boyfriend - farts really loudly in his sleep and rolls over to face me "I'm sorry" Me- "what are you sorry for hun?" Boyfriend - rolls away from me quickly "I REGRET NOTHING!"

He doesn't remember any of this, it was rather funny.

6. My brother: "A word that starts with an A? Train!"

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Credit: Instagram/harlowandsage
Credit: Instagram/harlowandsage

7. Shared a hotel room with a couple [of] friends once and as we were all waking up one morning, one of the guys just mumbles "Did you guys teabag me cuz there's hair in my mouth"

He doesn't say anything else and continues sleeping there for like another hour. We could not stop laughing.

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8. My husband will actually have full conversations with me in his sleep. I think Reddit might like this one, from earlier this month:

Him: Hi... Hi. I'm ready to order.

Me (confused, but playing along): Okay, what can I get for you?

Him: I'd like a Pepsi and a slutty cheese.

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Me: A Pepsi and a slutty cheese? Anything else?

Him: A fat burger. With potato.

Me: And how would you like your potato?

Him: Fucked. A fucked potato.

Me: Ooookay, a fucked potato, a fat burger, a Pepsi, and a slutty cheese. Anything else?

Him: I want a hat. With a propeller.

Me: Alright... Anything else?

(Pause)

Him: I'm ready to pay.

Me: That'll be $20. How would you like to pay?

Him: If I could pay with rice... I'd have a lot of money.

9. "Wash the salad, motherfucker!"

Pause

"bitch [sic]"

Credit: Instagram/pandas_and_bears
Credit: Instagram/pandas_and_bears

10. My girlfriend has said a lot of weird things in her sleep. But the thing that sticks out in my mind is when she rolled over and said "Hehehe... silly pedophiles".

11. "Seriously, if you shove anything stronger than chopped tomatoes up my nose I'll break your face!"

12. My husband was in "ambi-land" (his term for Ambien induced sleep) when he sat up looked at me and said, "you're [sic] as pretty as a rainbow trout!"

I didn't know whether to be offended or proud. He has no recollection of this.

13. Not the best, but creepiest. My sister once said "He's at the door" during her sleep.

14. Girlfriend was laughing in her sleep. When I asked "what [sic] was so funny" she sat bolt upright, pointed to the darkest corner of the room and in a low tone muttered "THEM!". I slept on the couch that night.

15. "It reminds me of a mixture between mmmm, and mmmmmm."

Amelia Jones
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